A new experiment
As humans beings, we can only concentrate on one thing at a time. Even if you’re multi tasking, 70% or more of your attention will be focused on one particular task. The short answer to whether people can really multitask is no. Multitasking is a myth. The human brain cannot perform two tasks that require high-level brain function at once.
The hustle culture that I’ve spent most of my adult years in, made me feel so inadequate for so long. And last month, I caught myself red handed, every damn day, feeling so pressured and drained by other people’s achievements and possessions.
You see, I moved to Goa because I wanted to slow down. Bangalore was all tech and VCs and convenience that I wasn’t qualified for so I never felt that I’m missing out as an entrepreneur. I am not an engineer, I don’t have an MBA, I have never had a job- so Bangalore wasn’t intimidating because it was just not my domain. But fucking hell, since the time I’ve moved to Goa, I’m back with the misfits, the creatives, the escape artists and people who are doing unique, beautiful things. This is my area. My bubble. And I feel like I’m doing nothing. Going nowhere. Have 30 new ideas to start something new every single day. But where is the money? Where’s the partner? What do I want to do? EVERY. FUCKING. DAY. SO. MUCH. UNNECESSARY. PRESSURE.
And I was not this person. I just was not. Probably turning 28 has screwed with my head. Am I late to things? Why is everything so expensive? What am I doing? What am I supposed to do? How the hell do I calm down?
Let’s just say, a few thousand tears had to shed over the last two months to make me tell myself to just stop. One thing at a time. Breathe.
June arrived and I decided I’ll just concentrate on one thing. My weight. My physical appearance. My fitness. My food. Basically, my one thing for June was my health. And boy, did I do well. One goal, one focus. Lost 5 Kgs, built muscle, had good meals every single day, became stronger mentally and physically and everything just became so much clearer.
It’s not me. It’s the culture around me that demands I rush through life. And I bought it. I bought it and I kept it carefully on my book shelf, like a decor item. A decor item I’d look at every day and wonder wow, how unique is this thing?! So the other day, after I realised how because I was focusing on one thing at a time, I was doing better, feeling saner, it became very clear. This decor item had to go. It didn’t make sense before, it didn’t make sense now.
So, I picked it up, looked at it one last time and smashed it on the floor. It broke into quite a few pieces. Big. Small. Smithereens. I vacuumed the floor like I never did before so not a single piece of it stays with me. I’m sure a bit of powder here and there is left in the corners because it never really goes. It’s all around us but the realisation though, that moment, that epiphany, that freedom of finally knowing that it’s not me- ah, almost life-changing.
So here I am, getting back to my monthly mini goals with a slight twist. Instead of doing everything, I want to concentrate on a theme for every month. It could be health, wealth, slowness, nature centric, a month of travel and new experiences - you know? One basic thing. One basic theme.
Since I’ve been so worried about being broke, I’d like to dedicate this month to work. Complete devotion to my work that sets a foundation for other things that I’d want to do. Whether I like it or not. Whether I am adding value or not (oh shit, I’ll have to go through a tug of war in my brain about this). I just need to concentrate on work. Getting more work. Doing more work. Getting more money. Doing more money. Because that farmhouse in my imagination is not going to get constructed on its own, you know?
I’ll need to put in the time, effort and tears required to be able to aid my bigger dreams.
Perhaps when I do commit to a theme for a month, my focus will be in the right place and that theme will act like my grounding force for some thirty days before I can move onto something else which is equally important to me. I can give my supposed fickle mindedness, that allows me the space to stray more often than I like, a small break and truly focus on things that matter to me in a month. It did work in June which means the pilot was a hit. Now, I need to work on this season’s episodes so this show can be a fucking good one. Not every episode will be perfect; perhaps it doesn’t have to me. Maybe the point of living life is to accept that you are imperfect and you will do things imperfectly.
Welcome to my new experiment. Will you be a part of it too? :)